How does one determine the best parenting style? The answer is simple: it depends on your children.
What constitutes the best parenting style is a question we will never truly know, but we can look to some of the fundamental theories in order to make some informed decisions about parenting. Parenting styles are often determined by the theory of three-pronged parenting. This involves strategies, norms, and rewards for all parents involved in raising their children.
Perhaps the biggest difference between some parenting styles and others is that some involve more conflict with their children than others. At first glance, this may seem surprising, but a study on parental conflict found that parents who use spanking or physical punishment with their children are twice as likely to be the type of parent who gets into fights with their spouse’s parents.
Another thing that may be related to parenting styles is that parents with various views of what constitutes good parenting are very likely to have different parenting styles as well. In general, parents with conservative views of what is right and wrong tend to be high in conflict with their children while liberal parents are often high in conflict with their children.
Perhaps the key to determining a parenting style lies in the types of methods employed. We can look at parenting styles by observing which ones are more common in the studies that were done in the 1980s, as opposed to the more recent ones.
In studies conducted in the 1970s, the most commonly found parenting styles were more extreme and involved more conflict with their children than the more current ones do. The most prevalent parenting styles then were authoritarian, authoritarian-compulsive, and restrictive.
This suggests that parents who are high in conflict with their children are not necessarily the type of parents who are abusive. However, the parental conflict involved in these cases can often lead to the negative emotional consequences of depression and anxiety. Therefore, it seems that conflict with children does not necessarily indicate abuse.
However, in research conducted in the 1980s, the parenting style that was considered the most healthy for children was the “authoritarian-compulsive” style. This style seemed to be the best one to use if you wanted to raise your children in a safe and nurturing environment.
In the case of authoritarian parenting, the children in the study were required to follow a set of rules, even when these did not make sense to them. This style included watching their own behavior and responding harshly when they did something that was not expected of them.
However, authoritarian parenting did not necessarily mean that your child would become a disobedient, problematic child. In fact, it has been shown that some authoritarian parents were very loving, generous, and devoted to their children and worked hard to mold them into good adults.
When researching any type of parenting style, keep in mind that there are multiple styles, and each style is suited to specific circumstances. By understanding the differences between the different styles, it will be easier to decide what is best for your children and yourself.
